26 Mei 2017

On Looking Back To Our Younger Days*

Do you ever mourn over all the waning friendships in your adult years?

I guess I did, once.
I made peace with that, but then Reply 1988 ending scene hit me.
Damn it my heart was aching so bad I couldn't shed any tears.
It left a gaping hole in my heart.
A pang of sorrow so profound I found myself waking up in tears the morning after.

I guess a lot of people in their late twenties and early thirties can relate with Reply 1988's ending.
At around the same time of my starting watching the series, a friend shared this article. The sadness of the article (or rather, in the tone of my friend sharing it) lingers through 20 episodes I watched this past month.

In our "prime time" like now, we realized that our circle of friends is getting smaller and smaller. We're building career, we're nurturing new family. Our priorities shifted. Suddenly we found it hard to make time to meet our friends, the ones we used to meet, eat together, and talked to almost every day. Every time we finally meet, we want to meet regularly and more often, but then the gathering only happened once every six months or even once every year in buka puasa bersama. Or worse, life happens and we lose some friends along the way.

And with the realization of those waning friendships, we realize that our glorious days of youth has gone. I always said that university is our last "safe place". Some people got extra "safe" time pursuing full time master degree, but after that the safety of "education context" is over, really. During school and uni years, mistakes are for learning and there's not that many thing to think and worry about. During those years we can be carefree and dreams all we want. Now that we're adults, we don't get to enjoy that perks anymore. It can be sad and bleak for some of us, having to change direction and not living the life we used to dream and plan about. It can be mundane for some others, living day by day full of responsibilities and striving to make ends meet. It's not that sweet even for those who's walking the path leading to their teenage dreams.

All in all, many --if not every-- things changed. There are things we did that we don't do anymore. There are places we don't get to visit that often anymore. There are places that don't even look and feel the same anymore. There are people we don't see as often as we used to be, there are even ones we don't connect with anymore. Well, even ourselves changed. Our looks, our view of the world, our priorities and our dreams changed even if so slightly.

"Panta rhei kai ouden menei," said Heraclitus.
Life goes on.
Love moves on.
And with that, we grow.

Though our circle of friends is getting smaller, those who stay feels more precious and we cherish them more. And with the ebb and flow of life, we rekindle old friendships and make new ones. It's just so sweet and reassuring, meeting your old friends after a long gap and finding out that you still get each other through and through. banyak hal berubah, ya / tapi beberapa tidak, tidak pernah / misalnya, tempatmu di hatiku** :D

Though adult life may feel mundane and full of pressing responsibilities sometimes, we know we're doing our best not to waste our peak productivity years. Though some of us may still struggling with change of role and dreams, I still believe that we are doing great things in this phase of late young adulthood. We can move mountains. Heck, each and every one of us is moving mountain now, only with different mountains.

We're actually living "the good ol' days". One day we'll look back at today with nostalgic feelings the way we look at our high school and uni days now. So let's cherish this phase and make the most of it :)

Dream new dreams,
do good deeds,
make good memories,
make time  for our parents, our spouse, our children, our friends, 
and say proper thank yous, apologies, goodbyes and I love yous to everyone in our current period of life,
so we can have no regrets when we look back later.

Just let the past be the past
It’s meaningful in that way
Let’s all sing together
Say you dreamed with no regrets
Say you’ll dream new dreams

* This post (along with binge watching every variety show with Park Bo Gum in it) is an attempt to cure my "Reply 1988 fever" alias kebaperan luar biasa wkwkwk.
** One of the poems lines I wrote in high school, when some kind of creative writing was an integral part of my everyday life

Update: This post sat for about 3 days in my draft folder. Today, just before I posted this, I met one of my closest friends in high school and uni, whom I haven't met for three years. Amazingly, it felt just like the old time :') It's soothing to see that some things definitely changed but some other things is still the same at the same time. That meeting cured my "Reply 1988 fever" instantly, alhamdulillah. But I'd still love to watch PBG videos from time to time :p
2 komentar on "On Looking Back To Our Younger Days*"
  1. Belum sampai tahap sejauh teh Cune, tapi skrg lagi merasakan hal yang mirip mirip kayak gini (karna sikon aku lagi S2 & beberapa closed friend udah duluan menikah,punya anak).

    Bacanya jadi sampe :')
    Thank you for writing this kind of article, teh, berasa isi hati tercurahkan.

    1. Miiiin *pelukkk*
      Sama-sama sayang, alhamdulillah :)